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With nationwide school closures in effect, many parents are now monitoring homeschooling while at the same time trying to make a living in the midst of a terrible economic crisis. In this environment of broken routine and uncertainty, chances are your kid is showing big feelings and challenging behaviors.

In my work equally a schoolhouse psychologist, I've been hearing from parents that despite their best efforts, their children are struggling with coming together homeschool expectations. Kids who never showed behavioral or emotional challenges are experiencing issues, and kids who had some struggles before are showing an uptick of challenges. Here are three ways to back up your child (and manage your own stress) during school closures that parents I work with take found helpful.

i. Simplify: Relax your homeschooling and productivity standards to a level appropriate for a worldwide pandemic

If you're a parent suddenly trying to balance remote work and homeschooling, your household might look a bit similar mine right now. Every bit I am writing this, I am likewise toggling dorsum and forth between helping my tertiary-grader with Google Classroom, trying to set my kindergartener for some independent writing work, and fielding questions every few seconds (wait, what is the divergence betwixt scalene and isosceles triangles once more?!?).

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I've come to realize in these by few weeks that existence super productive with my piece of work every bit a schoolhouse psychologist AND giving full attention to homeschooling my children is not possible right now. Turns out, existence a parent, teacher, and school psychologist are 3 unlike jobs that cannot all exist done well at the same time.

Spending time wishing things were otherwise is an exercise in frustration. And since research shows that acceptance is an important trait in positive well-being, here are a few mantras virtually simplification y'all might desire to try:

• I am not homeschooling. I am doing my best to assistance my kids learn at abode during a crisis.
• I am not "working from home." I am doing my all-time to piece of work at home during a crisis.
• I cannot exist as productive as normal because these are not normal times. I will focus on what I can accomplish in just the side by side 24 hours and let become of what I cannot reach correct now.

Research shows that gratitude is another mode to cultivate well-being. Even in challenging times, there is an opportunity to be grateful and to be accepting of what you can and cannot achieve in a crisis.

Here's one simple strategy for you and your family members to start your twenty-four hours: Say, write, or draw (if your child is young) one thing you lot're grateful for, ane thing to do, and i thing to permit go of or accept. Putting gratitude at the front of your twenty-four hour period will fix a positive tone for the day. And while you undoubtedly take more than ane thing to do, focusing on 1 of import task and letting go of impossible standards volition keep yous from feeling like yous are falling short every solar day.

2. Structure: Go along calm and structure on

If you Google "How to back up my child during COVID-19," the top advice is to stick to a regular schedule, even when yous're all at abode all day. There'south good reason for this. For adults and kids alike, routine and predictability are calming during times of stress. If yous've tried to set a schedule and your children are resisting it, here are some reminders:

• Now is not the time to clamp down and control your child's twenty-four hours. Now is the time to collaborate with your child on a schedule that works for the whole family.
• Information technology is okay if your schedule does not become to plan every day. Every mean solar day is an opportunity to fine-tune what is working and eliminate what is not working.
• Your job as a parent is non to recreate an eight-hour schoolhouse twenty-four hour period. Your chore is to help your kid feel safe and do their all-time with the distance learning plan the teachers have provided.

It's worth reiterating that you do non have to recreate a total school-twenty-four hour period schedule! Your family schedule may look more like what y'all would create over a summertime break, including opportunities for fun, practice, hands-on learning activities, and family connection. It is also important to build in "emotional checkpoints" during the day and involve your child in the schedule.

3. Support: Get ahead of the meltdowns (and teach critical social-emotional skills, too!)

When our children are experiencing large feelings, they may communicate them through behavior. If your child is melting down over something that seems small to yous, information technology may be a sign they are overwhelmed or flooded with emotions.

For instance, when my kindergartner fell into a puddle of tears and screamed at me because she didn't like the give-and-take-sorting activity that her instructor gave her to practice, it wasn't really about the sorting activity. Afterwards she calmed down using her "Calming Carte du jour" we had created earlier (hugging the canis familiaris is her go-to), she ended up sharing that she was sad considering she missed her friends. Had I clamped downwardly on compliance on the assignment, it would accept been a missed opportunity for her to practice calming down and expressing her emotions.

The important takeaway bulletin here is that children (and, indeed, adults!) practice not have access to their thinking and reasoning skills when they are flooded with emotions. If your kid cannot focus on school tasks, or y'all are seeing them melt downwardly, tantrum, or withdraw, information technology's likely because they are having a hard fourth dimension meeting an expectation while under stress.

The antidote? Empathy. Research shows that empathy can calm the nervous organisation and re-engage the thinking and reasoning side of the brain. When yous are in the eye of a meltdown, you lot might remind yourself of this using the following mantras:

• My child is not giving me a hard fourth dimension; they are having a hard time.
• Behavior is communication, and my child is "telling" me they demand back up.
• The teachable moment well-nigh behavioral expectations is never in the "hot" moment. I must calm my child through empathy first.

The reality is, your job correct at present as a homeschooling parent is less near academics, and more about creating safety, belonging, and acceptance. Your kids can learn about academics from teachers. The most important skill you can teach is how to manage large feelings under stress. Here are some techniques that may be helpful in teaching critical emotional-regulation skills:

• Develop a list of calming strategies BEFORE you lot and your children need them. Post them on your fridge where all family unit members tin can readily utilise them.
• For research-based and easy-to-do connection activities that teach social-emotional skills, visit Greater Good in Instruction and pick a few to try with your family.
• Go support yourself by picking one cocky-intendance practice on the Greater Good in Action website so you can parent from a place of calm and model for your child how to solve problems together. Kids learn by watching us, and then taking care of yourself is educational activity your child how to cope.

Nosotros are living in unusual times, only we also have a real opportunity. Existence in close quarters during times of stress is a chance to step back and focus on connexion. In stressful times, children will exist protected if they are continued. When all this is done and our kids go back to their schools, we can have given them the gift of connectedness and some new social-emotional and problem-solving skills.

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Source: https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/how_to_reduce_the_stress_of_homeschooling_on_everyone

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